The Ranma Horror Picture Show
by Quantum Witch
Summary: 1998 \\ An alternative fantasy, featuring Ranma and crew, in 3 acts, with poetic license. Absolutely NOT a songfic or a musical.
1. The Beginning

**THE RANMA HORROR PICTURE SHOW**  
a Ranma 1/2 fanfic by quantum witch © 1999

**Rating**: R for language and adult situations, slashes just about everyone to a degree**  
****Summary**: An alternative fantasy, featuring Ranma and crew, in 3 acts, with mild kink and poetic license. Absolutely NOT a songfic or a musical.  
**Disclaimer****: **Characters lovingly perverted, but still owned by Rumiko Takahashi. "RHPS" format owned by R. O'Brien and 20th Century Fox.  
**Note**: I'm using the Americanised spellings for everyone's names. Live with it.

* * *

**Cast of characters:**  
RANMA SAOTOME - a Scientific Pervert  
AKANE TENDO -a Temperamental Heroine  
RYOGA HIBIKI - a Clueless Hero  
MOUSSE - a Verrry Handyman  
SHAMPOO- a Foreign Domestic  
UKYO KUONJI - a Cute Groupie Chef  
GENMA SAOTOME - a Pervert's Father  
the KUNO'S (sort of) - an Annoying Creature  
TSUBASA KURENAI - a Quasi-Brain Donor

* * *

**1 : THE BEGINNING**

The wedding had been joyous, the bride Kasumi radiantly beautiful, the groom Dr. Tofu giddy and laughing with delight. Kasumi's family, the Tendos, were alternately smiling (sister Nabiki), glowing (sister Akane), and crying uncontrollably (father Soun). But everyone was truly happy.

Akane had invited her dear friend Ryoga to be her date for the event, and he was fidgety in his rented suit and bow-tie, but pleased to be present. He had secretly been in love with Akane for longer than he could recall, but always had trouble expressing himself emotionally. He'd always felt like a bit of a stranger in a strange land anyway, never quite fitting in with other people, and so was mostly a loner. Akane, however, had always tried to make him feel a part of her family and was a great friend. Today he hoped being at such a personal, sentimental occasion would help give him the nerve (and excuse) to bring up the possibility of advancing their own relationship as well.

Kasumi threw her bouquet and Akane caught it, quite by surprise. At first she blushed brightly, then giggled and danced around, pink dress twirling and white broad-brimmed hat almost falling off her short black hair, which ruffled in the breeze. Ryoga, watching from below the steps of the temple, felt his heart skip a beat, then thump in perfect time with the temple bells chiming. He was certain it was a sign from above that today was the day. At last, he must have the courage to speak his mind.

When the bride and groom had left for their honeymoon, Ryoga asked Akane to accompany him for a quiet walk. He again had trouble speaking his feelings. He chatted inanely about the wedding, how lucky a guy the Doc was, what a great cook Kasumi was... Then he lost all words, and began blushing profusely, babbling incoherently, stabbing heart-shaped holes into an innocent boulder with one fingertip. But he finally spit the words out. "_Akane, I love you!_ I always have! I... I know you... might not feel totally the same... but I'm sure you feel _something_ for me..." She smiled and nodded, having known for some time how Ryoga felt. "Would you... like to be my girlfriend...?" He said it with such open feeling and hopefulness, standing in his familiar pose, one hand caught in his thick dark hair as if to hold his head up while his thoughts went around.

Completely sure of her tender feelings for her longtime friend, sure also that she could very easily come to love him as well, she smiled warmly, kissed his cheek and agreed. Ryoga's mind and heart (and darn near his skull) exploded with bliss, and he felt sure that someday he would even be able to share _everything_ he was with her.

o - o - o

They continued to walk through the lovely woods, until an hour later they realised they were hopelessly lost... which worried Akane a little, but caused much frustration and guilt to Ryoga. He had a terrible habit of getting lost no matter where he was trying to go.

Then suddenly there came rumbling thunder and lightning, and Ryoga turned pale. He had an abnormal fear of rain, which Akane had always found odd, but she respected his feelings anyway. He always carried a large umbrella for such occasions, and they both huddled under it as they walked. Still, he was getting almost frantically nervous, and when Akane sighted a light in the woods she quickly suggested they head toward it.

Coming to an iron gate, they saw the light came from the high tower windows of a huge castle. Even though it seemed an odd structure to be in Japan, they felt it had to be safer than the storm which was getting stronger, and better for Ryoga's peace of mind which was rapidly fading away to hysterics.

Unknown to them both, a tall figure watched them from one of those windows, having known they would arrive soon enough.

It was fast becoming a night out they were going to remember for a verrry long time...

o - o - o

The closer they got to the door, however, the more edgy Akane felt. It looked... well, spooky. She didn't care for spooky. No telling what or who was inside. But, scared as she might be, Ryoga was worse off now. His eyes wild, body shaking, he rang the doorbell, pathetically grateful for the overhanging stone that kept him dry. He shivered at the thought of getting a single drop wetter than he already was... especially in front of his beloved Akane.

Creaking on its hinges, the massive door opened. The barely lit interior revealed only an outline of the person holding the door handle. A sudden flash of lightning showed it to be an almost frighteningly gorgeous tall young man, with flowing waist-length black hair, wearing a white robe with huge sleeves, cut in something like a tuxedo-style, but left open to show his bare chest, and dark blue flowing trousers. His expression was reserved, yet his dark eyes, behind thick glasses, were piercing.

Akane gasped and clung tightly to Ryoga, who steeled himself. "Hi, uh, my name's Ryouga Hibiki, and this is my girlfriend Akane Tendo. We're a bit lost... do you have a phone we might use?"

Still staring at the couple, perhaps blankly, perhaps thoughtfully, the tall youth finally spoke. "You're wet," he stated.

"Yes, it's raining," Akane said in return (thinking, _What a weirdo_).

"Yes," the tall one drawled. "Perhaps you'd better both... come inside." His mouth turned up at the corner in the slightest smirk, as if at a private joke. He moved aside and let them enter the hall.

Watching him warily, Ryoga held Akane's arm possessively as they passed him. "Oh, Ryoga, I'm scared," she said shakily. "What kind of place is this?"

"Maybe some kind of private getaway for perverts," Ryoga laughed a little, "but I hope not..."

"That's not really funny," Akane said dryly.

As they neared a tall staircase, they could hear the sound of merrymaking from somewhere indefinable. "Are you having a party?" Akane asked, hoping she didn't sound as nervous as she felt.

"You've arrived on a rather special night. The Master is having... an affair," said the tall youth. Tucking his hands into his massive sleeves, he retrieved a candelabra with the candles already lit, and waited by the stairs for them to approach.

Eyes wide at the seeming magic trick, Akane simply said, "Oh... lucky him."

A voice from the stairway startled the young couple. "_You_ lucky, _he_ lucky, _I_ lucky, we _all_ too-too lucky!" A curvaceous girl, stretched out on the banister like a cat, slid down to greet them, calling out, "_Nihaoooo_!" happily. She had the longest hair (an amazing shade of blue-purple that somehow looked completely natural), biggest eyes, and shortest hot-pink maid's uniform either of them had ever seen. She landed daintily on her slippered feet at the bottom of the stairs, curtsied by lifting the corners of her tiny white apron and giggled bouncily.

There was, however, a look in the eyes of both the girl and the young man that Ryouga didn't trust - something corrupt, and way too eager to expand on it in ways that would probably break every law and moral code ever invented. He began to back away from them, dragging Akane... but he took a wrong turn and wound up going through a totally different door. The very door the two strangers had been intending to take them through anyway. (Must be fate, eh?)

The source of the party noises were discovered inside, where approximately two dozen people in wild costumes were dancing and drinking and carousing in a generalised illicit manner. Akane was somewhat taken aback by the shameless display, and Ryoga felt himself choking up on nervous tension. He would have turned back and gone out the door, but the two strangers from the front door were now blocking the way, looking like satisfied spiders who'd just caught a pair of juicy flies in their web. He wondered if he could just fight their way out (he was after all, an accomplished and amazingly strong martial artist)... but no one was overtly threatening them, and he was greatly outnumbered if it came to that. Better just to play along for now, and pull out the fancy punches when the time was right. Akane just stared around with wide eyes, slightly horrified, yet slightly fascinated.

A jukebox played loudly, and a girl (or maybe it was a guy, it was hard to be sure) sat on top of it, happily gyrating to the music, and after a few minutes jumped down and began dancing on very long shapely legs clad in black tights, tossing off the boy's blue jacket worn over it, shaking long brown hair loose from the confining ponytail. The tight strapless rainbow-sequined top and the amount of cleavage that showed now proved gender, and it seemed suddenly odd that she'd ever be mistaken for a boy at any time.

Ryoga spoke up then, trying to get anyone's attention. They didn't seem to hear or care. After a couple attempts, he finally lost his temper and shouted at the top of his lungs, "_Come on, already! Will somebody just show us where a phone is, OKAY?_"

The party fell silent and everyone turned to look at them, with an expression that said, _Castles don't have phones, you moron... _Then the group slowly began advancing toward them, smiling in an overly friendly, even slightly hungry, way. The sense of being entrapped increased tenfold. Ryoga, knowing when a fight was impossible, grabbed Akane's arm and retreated from the room backward. Unfortunately he went the wrong way again and slammed into an ornate wrought-iron elevator shaft, and could go no further.

Akane was getting truly frightened now. "Please Ryoga, let's try to just get out of here...!" Her words were interrupted as she came face-to-face with the occupant of the elevator, which had been descending all along. The face was an attractive one, somehow both masculine and feminine at once, the body totally covered with a long black cape. Akane was shocked to silence.

The caped one slid between them, unobtrusively stroking both of them along the hip with warm hands. Ryoga barely stifled a scream, but a tingling of uncertain emotion jolted through each of the young couple, and they found themselves magnetised. They followed the caped person back into the room they'd just departed, eyes on the dark hair and long pigtail that bobbed before them. Upon reaching the center of the room, the cape was flung off dramatically, revealing the person to be a slender, muscular young man in a red Chinese-style vest (or was it a corset?) and black pants. Turning and smiling, he accepted a glass of cold water from the purple-haired girl, then promptly dumped it over his own head, instantly transforming before everyone's eyes into a slender, muscular young girl in a red corset (or was it a vest?) and black pants.

Akane was frozen to the spot, and yet her body suddenly felt uncomfortably hot. Ryoga found his throat tightening, the blood draining from his face. _Who was this person? How was this accomplished?_ More to his alarm however, he found his pants stretching a little too tightly in the front. He blushed hotly and tugged his suit jacket closed and downward. This was an unexpected reaction, one he'd prefer no one else know about.

The now-girl sprawled over a large throne-like chair which stood on a platform at the far end of the room. Her retinue, the tall young man, the purple-haired girl, and the girl in rainbow-and-black surrounded her, making her the living centerpiece of a pervert's smorgasbord. She gazed coyly at the confused couple, smiled and said, "So, you're lost and need a place to stay for the night, I'm told? No problem. But first, why not come up to my lab and... join the festivities?" She took the tall youth's chin in her fingertips, licking his cheek, though he never changed his flat expression. The purple-haired girl, winking and giggling with glee, stood behind the chair, her bosom peeking provocatively over the edge. The rainbow girl fondled her Mistress' leg with obvious devotion, a blissful smile on her lips. Then, laughing with full-throated delight, the now-girl leaped gazelle-like from the chair and flounced out of the room, leaving Ryoga and Akane in the clutches of her servants.

Coming to stand behind the couple, the tall young man pulled out towels and kimonos from the sleeves of his robe, and he and the purple-haired girl began to dry off and undress their startled guests.

"Hey!" Akane yelped, and tried taking an indignant swing at the tall one, but he evaded her hands skillfully and had already stripped her to bra and panties before her fist even recoiled. Too shocked now to fight, she let him drape the kimono over her shoulders without protest. Ryouga, meanwhile, was pinching off a nosebleed, caused by the sensation of the purple-haired girl's hands roaming all over him as she removed everything but his boxers.

The rainbow-clad girl stood watching, having caught all the dampened clothes tossed into the air on the flat of a huge spatula. "You know, you're very lucky to be invited up to Ranma's laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege," she said with a smile.

"People like you maybe?" Ryoga asked, pulling his kimono tightly around himself, and standing protectively closer to Akane.

"Hmm, been there, done that, got the t-shirt, Sugar," she replied. Taking the couple's clothes, she skillfully flung them off the spatula and onto the jukebox to dry, then followed them and the servants out to the elevator.

"_Aiyaa_! Come-come, Ranma no like we keep waiting," chirped the purple-haired girl as she pushed Akane and Ryoga forward.

With it's cage-like shape, the elevator felt like a prison and Ryoga held Akane's hand tightly to reassure her that he'd keep her safe. But deep inside he felt sure it was going to be harder than he'd imagined, and that they had somehow stepped into a situation which would change things in ways neither of them were ready to understand.

He didn't yet know how right he was.

o - o - o

The elevator door opened into a circular tiled room, with a balcony on one side, a curtained stage area on the other, and a domed ceiling with paintings of strange constellations. In the center of the room was a large tank of coloured liquid with something indefinable floating inside it. Ranma posed excitedly before the tank, wearing a lab jacket. She smiled at the party-goers standing upon the balcony to view the event, and addressed her servants. "Shampoo... Ukyo... Mousse... prepare the equipment."

The three went to the tank and a large control panel, and performed their appointed tasks, while Ranma more properly greeted her guests. "Welcome, Ryoga... Akane..." She took Akane's hand in her own, lightly kissed it, locking gazes with her warmly.

Akane flushed slightly and felt her heart thump in a way she'd never experienced, wondering just what it all meant. This person was obviously a pervert, but Akane herself didn't swing that way... _did_ she?

Ryoga gasped in surprise, clenched his teeth and imposed himself between them. "Listen, you, we just needed to use a damn phone! What in the hell is going on here?"

"Ryoga, it's okay, really," Akane assured him, though she wasn't certain of it herself.

"How forceful you are Ryoga... so protective and _manly_..." Ranma let her gaze drop just slightly, causing Ryouga to blush beet red and back away. "You have nothing to fear."

"_I'm not afraid, damnit!_" Ryoga shouted, his voice pitching a little too high to sound convincing.

"Of course," Ranma said sweetly, batting her lashes, smiling at Ryoga in the same provocative way she had at Akane, "you're such a big, strong, brave thing... Akane must be awfully proud of her man..." Running a fingertip down Ryoga's arm caused him to tremble and break into a sweat, but he stood his ground.

Akane wasn't sure whether to be angry, jealous, hurt, or just... turned on by the exchanges taking place. So she bit her tongue.

Rolling his eyes slightly, Mousse approached Ranma from the control panel. "Mistress, everything is ready."

Ranma smiled widely, eyes shining. She grabbed a microphone from somewhere up Mousse's sleeve and took her place on the stage. "Tonight, my friends and colleagues, you will be witness to a break-through in DNA research!" The roomful of people cheered loudly. "Yes, Paradise is to be mine... not to mention maybe some kind of Award for Achievement and big cash prize," she giggled. "I have successfully found a way of combining two different but similar species, creating an amazing amalgamation! Tonight my _beautiful creature _is destined to be born!"

Practically dancing down to the tank, she instructed Mousse to adjust a few knobs and switches, causing the liquid inside to bubble slightly, change colors, and then to glow. When she was sure everything was complete, a jolt of electricity shot through the tank, and the thing floating inside began to move, alive now and breathing. Mousse helped it to stand, and Ukyo and Shampoo carefully removed the protective wrappings from its head and body. It seemed very human.

The face was an incredibly good-looking male, as was the body, tall, lean and muscled and clad only in shorts, with wavy dark hair falling over his brows. He had a nearly blank look in his exotic eyes, but when he saw his Creator they lit up with passion. Sensing automatically he'd been made just for this person, he rushed toward her on long legs, powerful arms wide and ready to crush her against his firm chest, howling with incoherent delight.

Not quite the reaction Ranma had anticipated, she yelped and went leaping up the ramp to the balcony, the creature hot on her heels. "Whoa, big fella! _Down_, boy! _Sit_!" she shouted as she ran, jumping over people who didn't dodge out of the way fast enough as they both rushed by. "Mousse! Water!" she yelled as she skidded down the opposite ramp back to the floor of the lab.

Sighing, Mousse picked up the end of a hose, spraying Ranma with hot water as she approached. Instantly transforming to a man again, he slid to a halt and turned to look at his creature.

The reaction was incredible. Not even being doused with water, the creature had also transformed at that same moment, into its opposite gender, and was now female, smaller in stature, long dark hair barely covering her perky breasts, and still very attractive. Somehow the creature's eyes seemed the same as before.

"All RIGHT!" Ranma hooted in delight, seeing that his experiment had been a success. The party-goers were also astonished and applauded wildly at this scientific innovation. Akane and Ryoga clutched each other tightly, completely freaked-out and annoyingly aroused by turns.

The now-female creature squealed at the sight of her now-male Creator and leaped at him in the same way her other half had done, knocking Ranma to the floor in her fervid embrace. Ukyo and Shampoo pried her off, but once released the female creature launched herself again. Metal cuffs flew through the air and manacled her ankles. At the other end of the chains crouched Mousse, who had produced them from up his sleeves.

Ranma smiled gratefully at his servants and stood up, laughing and beckoning all his guests closer to admire and praise him, assuring them all that it would be safe now. He knew his creature would need training and discipline... and he so looked forward to providing it.

Partiers were standing close by now, admiring the creation. Ranma held court for a while, describing the techniques using his own DNA and a partial brain from a donor, in his desire to make another being capable of gender transmogrification. Several noted how very similar the creature appeared to a brother and sister pair from their... homeland. Ranma expressed that had been exactly his intention, to make them appear that way (however he was incredibly glad the creature had not yet learned to speak, otherwise he would never get a word in edgewise with either side of it, if they were anything like the original pair). He announced then that the creature would be called _Takacchi_, a combination of the nicknames of the brother and sister it resembled.

Leading the excitable creature into a room behind the stage curtains, Ranma bid everyone goodnight with glee. It was pretty obvious to everyone that he wanted to... _break in _his creation. So the rest of the party wandered out of the lab to find whatever empty rooms they could in which to continue their revelry.

Ryoga and Akane were still speechless, and Ukyo guided them again to the elevator, leading them to another floor and to separate bedrooms for the night. She reassured them that they would be safe from harm. Since she seemed to be the most normal (by comparison) to anyone they'd met so far tonight, they preferred to believe her.


	2. The Middle

**THE RANMA HORROR PICTURE SHOW** - quantum witch © 1999

see chapter 1 for rating, warnings, and summary

* * *

**2 : THE MIDDLE**

Akane lay semi-awake in the bed provided, thinking over what Ukyo had told them about herself. She had been a caterer for the party tonight, though it had actually started about a month earlier (no one had wanted to wait that long for the fun to begin), and had decided to stay, since everyone loved her _okonomiyaki _so much. However, Akane sensed she was hiding a secret unhappiness.

Anyway, it seemed safe enough here, at least for one night, and Akane drifted off to sleep.

o - o - o

All too soon, Ranma found himself wandering the now-quieter halls of his castle. The creature and he had cavorted in both forms, and in as many sexually-varied ways possible (at times the creature seemed to be an already skilled gymnast or martial artist, it was so..._limber_) until it had fallen asleep.

But Ranma was insomniac, and no longer certain what he'd done was going to be as satisfying to his heart and soul as originally hoped. Oh sure, the _body_ was pretty happy... but that wasn't such a big deal to any of his people, since they all had such active, open-minded, perverse sex lives. He knew something was still missing, something that his _heart_ called out for... and he was beginning to get the feeling it was right under his nose.

He stopped and found he had led himself to Akane's bedroom. And somehow it didn't shock him at all.

o - o - o

Akane awoke groggily to sense the person sitting on her bedside. Thinking it might be Ryouga, she reached out a hand to him, felt the warm masculine skin of his arm and patted it comfortingly. "Couldn't you sleep?", she asked softly.

"No I couldn't," came the reply, but it wasn't Ryoga's voice.

Eyes wide open now, she gasped, seeing it was Ranma. She knew she ought to scream, pound his head in with a heavy blunt object, anything... but he hadn't moved toward her. And in a way, hard as it was to admit, she didn't want him to leave. There was something so... familiar about this thoroughly strange person, it scared and exhilarated her. But yet she thought of Ryoga, whom she knew and trusted and cared for so much...

"What do you want from me?" she finally asked breathlessly.

"I'm sure you know," he responded softly, leaning a little closer. His breath was hot on her cheek, but he waited for her to make the first move. It had to be her choice as well.

Burning now, she felt her lips closing on his own, and the taste of him was so potent, so right... Her hands moved of their own volition, gently against his firm chest, then more urgent, slipping beneath the kimono he wore, and she felt the heat they both shared.

"I shouldn't..." she began, tears pricking her eyes now.

"You care for Ryoga," he whispered in her ear, one fingertip wiping away a teardrop, "but I think we've both known all evening how right this is. Think about everything else tomorrow..." He kissed her more deeply now, hand moving warmly over her tingling flesh.

"I've never..." she whispered, shaking gently.

"Yes, I know," he replied, "but it won't be bad... I promise..."

Akane sighed, melting against his hardness, letting the pleasure flow through her. She would think about the guilt when she was able to think at all.

o - o - o

Robe off, wearing only his loose-flowing pants, Mousse mopped the floor of the lab. Shampoo was supposed to be cleaning the tank, but she was too distracted by the muscles rippling in her partner's torso, the way his silken black hair flowed over his golden skin with every move. Mousse wasn't really accomplishing too much either, since his eye was constantly drawn to the expanse of slender, perfect thigh Shampoo displayed whenever she leaned over into the tank.

_Aww, screw it!_, they both thought at the same moment, threw down their cleaning tools and slammed into each other at full speed. Lifting her body with strong arms, he pressed her against the nearest surface, the elevator shaft. She grasped the iron bars with her hands above her head, wrapped her long lovely legs around his sweating back, moaning for release like a cat in heat. Her mate plunged wildly into her, and they both forgot to watch the security monitors showing where the creature was being kept...

o - o - o

Ukyo found herself again at the cryo-healing chamber -"Deep Freeze" as she called it- which held her childhood acquaintance Tsubasa. It was so ironic, how he'd followed her in disguise when she'd first come to the castle for her job, and had wound up being exactly what Ranma had needed for his creature experiment.

Tsubasa was a firm heterosexual... but also a firm transvestite. Ranma felt this ability to separate his sexuality was crucial and part of his brain's biochemistry... and that was the reason he took half of it to place in his creature. Not that Tsubasa had actually fought the decision. He and Ranma's two halves had gotten to know each other very well in the last month -especially the female-half, it seemed. Not that Ukyou had room to talk since she'd been pretty busy with the male-half herself. Tsubasa understood completely (so he said) what it was like to be split in a way, and all alone in the world in that respect. So he'd donated half his brain, after which Ranma placed him in Deep Freeze to slowly recover his health.

Ukyo hadn't really liked Tsubasa very much before. He'd been too intensely smitten with her, practically stalking her for such a long time. However, seeing just how sacrificingly kind he'd been to this person he barely knew, she had a lot to think about as she watched him heal.

Tsubasa's naked form, suspended in peaceful sleep with a barely discernible laser scar on his forehead beneath long reddish-brown hair, truly was a beautiful sight. Ukyo had come to realise that he really was quite a man after all. Once he was healed, she thought she might be more willing to reconsider her attitude toward him. And she didn't think only half a brain would affect him much.. except maybe calm him down a bit, since the creature seemed to have the irrationally passionate half.

Giggling a little to herself, she found one hand lingering above his cold hard body under the glass... and the other lingering on the hot soft flesh beneath her robe...

A bit later on, Shampoo wandered into the room to clean (finally), and discovered Ukyo sleeping beside Tsubasa's chamber... again. She grinned and motioned to Mousse, who picked the poor girl up and carried her to their private bedroom. No sense anyone being all alone, they both agreed... and a threesome was very warm and cozy compared to the Deep Freeze.

o - o - o

Ranma knew that each side of his form could feel completely happy individually for a time. But he'd never felt anything that made both sides happy at once. As he stood in the hallway, now outside Ryoga's room, he thought he just might have found the way to accomplish it for the first time ever. Stopping long enough to pour cold water over his head, transforming to female, he slowly opened the door and slipped inside.

Ryoga's trained senses heard the slight creaking of hinges and soft footsteps, and he was wide awake in seconds. Not moving from the bed, but tensed in readiness, he waited for the person to come closer. At the right moment, he leapt up, grabbing the intruder and pinning them to the floor. Ranma was too shocked to respond at first, but it took only a second for Ryoga to realise the person beneath him was soft and female, especially since there was a delectable curved breast directly in his left palm. Fearing he'd just flattened Akane, and embarrassed as hell, he leaped off as quickly as he'd fallen on, apologizing breathily.

"It's okay, I don't blame you for it," Ranma replied.

Eyes wide now, Ryoga saw who it was, and blushed hotly. "Why are you here?"

"I'm sure you know," she said, repeating her earlier words to Akane.

Like it or not, Ryoga did know. He had been fighting the attraction with every ounce of considerable strength he possessed, but was failing. This person was so magnetic to him, in a way that even Akane was not, and he hated the burning feeling of guilt it gave him to notice that fact.

Ranma touched his face then, speaking softly, "Ryoga I know the way in which we are alike... and I can explain to you why it happens, how it is possible..."

Knowing what she referred to, but unable to yet voice it, he simply sat there, letting her stroke his face, neck, shoulders, chest... then he tearfully pulled her to him, hands in her hair, kissing her deeply. When he felt her deep sigh of joy, he pushed away in shame. "I shouldn't," he gasped.

"You care for Akane," she said the words again, "but I think we've both known all evening how right this is. Think about everything else tomorrow..." Her hands resumed touching him, moving lower and more insistently.

"I've never... uh...," he whispered nervously.

"Yes, I know," she said, "but it's all right... just give yourself over to the pleasure and it will teach you the way to go..."

Giving in to the power of the feelings, Ryoga tested and tasted, explored and was explored, took and gave, until they both were totally sated and spent. Answers to lifelong questions (as well as guilt) could wait another few hours.

o - o - o

The creature Takacchi had slipped its bonds. It felt a wildness and frustration it couldn't have named if it had known language. Possessed by these feelings, it crept through the castle halls and empty rooms, female at first, whining and sighing and clutching a rose to its bosom, seeking its darling Master. Partway through its search, suddenly the transformation overtook it. Barely noticing the change, now-male, it pined and moaned in a somehow more poetic tone for its pig-tailed Mistress.

After a time of wandering, it found it had come full circle and returned to the lab, curled up in its original birth chamber, stuck a thumb in its mouth and slept fitfully.

Had anyone had been watching (as they were supposed to be doing, if they weren't wrapped up together in a knot of sweating flesh and electrical appliances), they would have witnessed the first hint of changes that were truly unplanned for...

o - o - o

Ranma had returned to the throne room hours later, and was curled up sleeping in the giant chair. Mousse's voice close to her ear roused her slightly.

"Wha-?" she mumbled, "whaddizzit?"

"We have a visitor, Mistress."

She shook herself awake then, allowed Mousse to pour hot water on her head from the kettle he'd brought. "Go get Shampoo and Ukyou, and wake up everyone for breakfast. Looks like it's time for serious talking."

Mousse nodded and went to rouse both his mate and Ukyo from their mutually spent slumber.

Ranma stretched and did some _tai chi_ exercises to awaken more fully. This was the day he'd really been waiting for all along, more than even the unveiling of his creation. News was coming for him that would change the course of his life forever... but he had news of his _own_ to include, whether it was liked or not. And he intended to do whatever he could to prevent losing what he'd found.


	3. The End

**THE RANMA HORROR PICTURE SHOW** - quantum witch © 1999

see chapter 1 for rating, warnings, and summary

* * *

**3 : THE END**

After everyone gathered in a banquet hall, Ukyo and Shampoo set about serving them all, Mousse supplying utensils from his multi-dimensional sleeves.

Ryouga and Akane barely noticed that nearly everyone in the room was half-undressed, as they had become somewhat numb to such sights throughout the course of the night. They also found they both had difficulty meeting each other's eyes. _That's odd_, they both thought, without knowing the reason was they shared the same wrenching guilt.

Ranma arrived a few minutes later, and was followed by a large man dressed in a white suit, a scarf on his head, and wearing glasses. Ryoga glanced up and nearly choked on his food. "_Genma Saotome?_" he said aloud when he'd regained his breath.

Akane too was stunned. "Mr. Saotome! What are _you_ doing here?"

Genma smiled and strolled over to the couple, leaning down to slap them both on the back in a typical friendly greeting. "Why, I meant to be here last night for the big event, but I got held up in certain negotiations. Fear not, everything is settled now." With that, he took his place at the opposite end of the table from their host and helped himself to a huge plate of food, upon which he lavished hearty praise between enormous mouthfuls.

Glancing at each other quizzically, Ryoga and Akane then looked toward Ranma for any comments, but he was distracted... which was just as well, since they both found looking at him made them blush. Both because they'd betrayed each other. But Ryouga doubly so, because even in male-form he found Ranma appealing... and he nearly stabbed himself in the leg with a fork to stop _that_ thought, things were bad enough.

Seated at the head of the long table, Ranma meanwhile was gazing pensively at his creature, who was eating with her fingers (albeit _quite_ daintily and _exceedingly_ ladylike) no matter how hard Ukyo tried to teach her to use chopsticks. It really didn't matter any more, and he certainly didn't want to think of the news he'd just received from Genma. _Damned if it didn't figure_, he thought, to fall completely in love with just the right girl and guy, on the same night he'd finished creating what he believed would fill that void in his life... So he looked anywhere but at the couple he'd alternately spent the night making incredible, heartbreaking love with.

Both nevertheless disappointed by Ranma's lack of attention, Ryoga and Akane sat silently as well. Then Genma spoke to them. "So, has my son told you everything yet?" From their blank stares, he guessed not. "Foolish boy! He never gets his priorities straight, so busy with his scientific sex experiments and having parties! He'd lose his own head if it wasn't glued on!"

"_Son_?" the couple asked simultaneously. "Ranma is your son?" At Genma's nod, both of them found their heads reeling from shock. They'd both grown up knowing Genma, a friend to both their families, especially Akane's father Soun. But there had never been a word of a son, let alone a gender-changing one.

Everything felt even more unreal than before. "_Mr. Saotome, what in the world is going on?_" Akane asked a little loudly, slapping her hands on the table.

Ranma looked up, surprised that Akane seemed to actually know his father personally. "Yeah, Pop, what _is_ going on?"

"Well, I assumed you'd already told them both the details!" Genma insisted. "But I guess you skipped it all because you were having too much fun, as usual."

Seated on the cushions beside the Master, Shampoo and Mousse both rolled their eyes back into their heads. Apparently everyone in the room thought that full introductions had already been covered.

"Since it's all screwed up now, I might as well take care of it for you, eh, son?" With an air of smugness, Genma pushed his glasses up his nose and sat back with arms crossed, prepared to wax eloquent.

"Never mind," Ranma growled, "If _you_ start talking, old man, it'll _really_ end up in a mess." Sighing, he rose and addressed his guests for the entire room to hear, ignoring Genma's loud complaints at the insult. "Akane, Ryoga... it's time to tell you both everything. But for that, let's all go to the baths."

o - o - o

There were two huge baths, as big as swimming pools - one steaming, one cool. Ryouga stood well back from the water's edge, as everyone else gathered closer. Akane held his hand gently, just as nervous as he, but for different reasons.

"Okay, here's the story," Ranma began, taking a deep breath and diving into the cool water, then surfacing in female form. She rose from the pool and pointed at Genma, Shampoo, Mousse, and generally swept her hand at everyone else. "Almost all of us here can change into another form, it's part of our nature."

As demonstration, Shampoo and Mousse dove in as well, resurfacing as a cat and a duck respectively. Genma sighed and dipped himself, becoming a giant panda. Ryoga was shaking with an unnamable feeling, and Akane held his hand more tightly, thinking he was as frightened and confused as she was.

Ranma continued his speech. "We all, except for Ukyou, come from the planet of _Jusenkyo_, where everyone has two forms, human and otherwise. I alone am human in both forms. It's a lonely existence for me, being so different, though I'm sure humans on this planet wouldn't really understand it that way. That's the reason I created Takacchi, to have someone else to be matched with..."

Having noticed that Takacchi was now male again, they also noticed he was groaning in apparent pain. Holding his head, he began to shake violently, and with no warning his face and body transformed again... into a likeness of Ranma... _then __Shampoo... Mousse... Ukyo... Ryoga.._. Just as it happened the night before, as the creature lay alone in its chamber, unnoticed...

Everyone watched in horror now. Ranma turned pale, shouting, "Damn, the biochemistry is breaking down! _It's destabilizing!_"

The creature howled and began to lash out blindly, as everyone ran for cover. Mousse dove into the warm pool, leapt out again, and grabbed a laser weapon from the sleeve of his robe. Crouching down, he fired to stun the creature. When it was safely asleep, several others lifted its limp form and carried it away. It was decided to keep it in a second cryo-chamber for the time being.

Silence fell hard on the room, until Ranma sighed deeply. "I guess I didn't really expect that to last," she said after a time. "I was in too much of a hurry to make it work... I guess when we get home, I'll turn it over to the Board of Science and let them finish the job... or maybe give it to a zoo..."

Genma, who'd been soaking (hiding) in the hot pool, approached his now-female son. "Let _me_ finish the story for you now, shall I?" When Ranma opened her mouth to protest, Genma stiff-armed her backward into the hot pool, and continued before his son could surface, sputtering with anger.

"Sixteen years ago, a small ship from our planet got lost scouting this solar system and never returned. After much tracking, I located the planet it landed on but the adult pilots were dead, or else hopelessly missing. Knowing them, it could be either... They had a child and I found him, but he had already been adopted by an Earth family, with no idea where he'd come from or why he was so different. So I stayed here to keep an eye on the lost boy, see that he was cared for, and kept in contact with the home world. We'd been making plans for contact with Earth anyway, trading and exchange of knowledge, all that sort of stuff, so the plans just got sped up a little. Now the time has arrived, and we can take the boy home at last." He stopped and looked meaningfully at Ryoga, who stood shaking helplessly, face streaming with tears, having finally understood. "Now you see, boy, why this castle and its people are so compelling to you?"

Akane gasped, whispering to Ryoga, "You're an _alien_? You change into something else too?"

He nodded silently. Stepping resignedly toward the cold pool, he let himself fall in and crawled back out, a small black pig. Head hanging, he sat before Akane. She crouched down and gathered him into her arms, holding him close to her heart. "Poor Ryoga," she said softly, "no wonder you always felt so alone..."

He nuzzled against her, oinking a little sigh to know that she was still so understanding of him, so kind... as no one else had been. She would not reject him.

Genma continued his speech. "Now we've also made an arrangement with a family of this planet, to relocate one of it's own children to our home planet."

Ranma, now male, having crawled from the heated pool, sighed. "Yes, they've found a girl they want me to marry, sort of as a goodwill gesture or treaty between this world and mine... But Pop," he said plaintively, "I've _already_ found someone I think I can love... _two someones_ actually..." When he glanced over at Akane and Ryouga, both of them felt their hearts jump.

Genma grinned at his child knowingly. "And by some extraordinary coincidence, Fate, it seems has decided for you. You fell for the one we chose without even realizing it!" He pointed at Akane now. "We've tried to make sure she and Ryoga would be together as friends, so they would both have the opportunity to come to you at the same time. We relied on Ryoga's seemingly lousy sense of direction, which was really a magnetic pull to bring him to his own kind, to lead them both here."

Akane was still holding Ryoga in pig form, when it dawned on her. "Wait just a minute... did I hear _right_? Am I being married off without my consent?"

"It's to _me_, Akane," Ranma said, rising and approaching her. "After last night, I thought you..."

"But it's without_ asking_ me!" she shouted, beginning to squeeze Ryoga a bit too hard. "Is _my dad_ responsible for this?"

"Well, yes," Genma faltered, "but don't you love Ranma?"

"Why didn't _anyone_ think to at least _consult me_ on this?" she ignored the question, demanding loudly. Ryoga squirmed loose from her grip and leapt into the warm pool.

"And _me too_, for that matter!" Ryoga yelled as he resurfaced. "Did it occur to anyone that _I _might love Akane _too_?"

Ranma sighed, coming between them and wrapping an arm around both. "Hey you two, think about this... If I have to marry someone from Earth for the arrangement, at least it's someone I already care about." He kissed Akane on the lips, making her blush hotly. Ryoga flushed as well, mostly jealous... partly intrigued. When Ranma turned and planted kissed Ryoga as well, his eyes bugged out of the socket and his face flamed.

Not releasing the embarrassed couple from his grip, Ranma continued, "See, on my planet there are many multiple marriages, because our shape-changing makes it easier to love more than one person, in more than one form. So... I want to marry you _both_."

"_Both_?" they cried in alarm, looking at one another.

He laughed, hugging them tightly, "I know you both love me already, as much as I love you... especially after giving yourselves to me last night..." This caused them both to gasp and blush again. Ranma pushed them together to face each other. "And, hey, if you two want to marry each other as well... _the more the merrier_!"

Akane and Ryoga gazed at each other hesitantly at first... then realised it was something they could live with, and fell into a long kiss. Ranma laughed and turned to the rest of the crowd, raising his arms triumphantly. "All right! It's settled! _We're going home_!"

Everyone in the room cheered and began the month-long party all over. Now that Earth knew of them there would be no more need to hide out, so a few decided to stay awhile longer, while others wanted to return to their families on Jusenkyo. Not surprisingly, Genma announced he would stay, as he still hadn't finished his Go game with Soun Tendo, and he intended to win. Ukyo, though she would have liked to join her alien friends and visit a new planet, decided to stay and care for Tsubasa once he awakened.

All in all, the multiple marriage was the best plan Ranma had come up with yet, and really the only logical alternative. Besides, it more than doubled the pleasure... and the fun.

_**And they all lived happily ever**_ _**after! THE END!  
**_

* * *

_· _DEDICATION _- To my Japanese pen pal of many years. She was always so unhappy in her life, and I fear may have ended that life before I could ever meet her in person. Wherever you are, **Sachiyo Takahashi,** this is for you...  
_

_· NOTE - I have been a longtime fan of RHPS, being also a cast member in a local theater (playing as Magenta) for most of my teenage years. I also love Takahashi's work. So the idea to combine the two was too tempting to pass up. Those who know RHPS will see the poetic license I've taken with some plot line and scenes, while keeping others fairly intact and even quoting some parts directly from the movie. Also I really hate sad endings, and I don't like killing off characters (unless it's unavoidable or they piss me off). As for the Ranma ½ folk, some things I made them do was a bit out of character (esp. Ranma's attitude toward sexuality), but hey - some things have to get compromised and I LOVE kinky combos. Plus it developed different psychology behind people's behaviour. Overall, it seemed to fit fairly well._


End file.
